This is not just about living with cancer — it’s about joie de vivre, artistry, and how to get through the unimaginable.
Writer-director Corey Madden learned that her husband Bruno Louchouarn, a gifted composer, had stage 3 esophageal cancer in February 2017. In the midst of busy creative careers, Madden and Louchouarn faced a grueling treatment schedule and the very real threat that Louchouarn’s cancer would prove fatal. As Bruno’s collaborator, caregiver and wife, Madden had to find a way to support Bruno and find her own form of hope despite facing very difficult odds.
With the help of her therapist, Madden shifted her focus from finding a medical “cure” for Bruno’s cancer to finding a path to healing.
“Healing is about more than medicine. It’s the path you and Bruno create through this. This is your life now. And every day is precious. Why don’t you make art out of this?”
– Peter, Numbered Days.
In response Madden began writing short, free verse poems on her iPhone, “because focusing only on Bruno’s illness and treatment was robbing us both of the very thing we wanted most to preserve — his life.”
Building on her practice of meditation, she began writing about “exactly what is happening now and numbered her entries by the day since Louchouarn’s diagnosis.
Peter encouraged me to make art.
And here’s what I can manage.
Move my thumb across the iPhone screen
Typing exactly what is happening now.
Bruno clears his throat.
And I check to make sure he is not dying.
Of course, he’s not dying
Because I am charged with keeping him alive.
Who knew worry was a super power?
It’s not, but my love for him might be.
Over time, Madden began to share the poems with her husband, and together they made art-making a key part of how they endured what turned out to be a 525-day journey together.
I guess it’s a good thing you were so jealous of your time.
You spent hours as if they were limited and precious
Which it turns out they were.
I can’t fathom you not being with me at 65
Or living without you for another 30 years.
I don’t know how to face this uncertain countdown
Whether to try to save or squander the time we have left.
Such a tenuous grasp we have on life.
The blessing of this is to understand it deeply.
For all I know these could be my last hours.
I know you were the best risk I ever took.
After Bruno’s death 525 days after his diagnosis, in order to cope with her grief Madden continued to write poems for a total of 1001 days.
Marriage
The center
The mirror
That holds
And reflects
Our life together
To be
With someone
Who knows
And loves you
To travel life
Companioned
And yet
Certainly
This Love
Will die
Leave you
Or you
Will leave
Him
Soul mate
We live
For each other
We die
For each other
Too
Loss
Echoes
Love
Listen
Nothing
Nothing
& Everything
Remains
Between
Us
